Britt’s 2024 Wrapped, pt 1

Preamble

My highly anticipated 2024 wrapped blog post is officially here, and with it comes a uniquely personal look back at how I lived my year. Yes, I stole this first sentence from Spotify’s blog. And yes, I have turned the humblebrag into an art form — complete with vivid detail and imagery. I have been diagnosed with MCS (Main-Character Syndrome) and I need YOU to support me and read this through.

For real though I am really excited to continue this tradition of recapping my year for a second year and I really hope I find a way to make this labor of self love less laborious. I realized there was a bit of hesitation in me when it came to typing this post and that’s for two reasons. The first reason being that like last year I decided to write about the entirety of my 2024 at the end of the year as opposed to maybe writing a summary every month, quarter, or even just writing about the first six months of 2024 in July or something. The second reason being that the start of this year was REALLY rough for me. I was depressed and suicidal and I was STILL having issues with my sleep which seemed to get worse in my new home. I moved and paid double rent and it turned out that the 40 year olds I was living with were immature, selfish, irresponsible buttheads so I moved out after four short months. I was fumbling in dating and I was feeling insecure about my weight gain and my hair. I truly felt lost and unlike myself. It’s a bit painful to revisit those months where I felt that way, but that’s a part of my growth. I reflect so I can see myself, know myself, love myself, and heal myself. Alright now, let’s get into it…

January

I started the year playing Scrabble online with my best friend Vonn. Later that day I did a New Years Day hike like I have for the past three years now. I usually do the New Years Day hike solo, but this year I did it with my then housemate. As I got to know him I learned he lived a very isolated and routine life that revolved around work and staying in his basement bedroom when not working. I was trying to be nice when I invited him on the hike showing him my favorite hidden gem trail in Oakland.

If you’re picking up on a bitter tone here then you’re right. I cannot stand that man. He was a weird 40 year old man who in my short time living with him started arguments with me, passive aggressively ignored household chores, and got me mixed up in drama with a 20-something in Washington who DM’d me one day harassing me and telling me she was his girlfriend and pregnant with his baby. When I confronted my housemate about this person he immediately bad mouthed and blamed her for the whole situation. He then used that as an opportunity to go on a misogynistic rant about women in general and how the women of the specific part of Seattle he had just moved from (and where he impregnated that lady) were all lazy and trapped men with babies. To say I hate him is an understatement. There was a period where I actually felt unsafe around him and would invite friends over to stay with me so he could know I was well supported and to assert myself in the space.

My other housemate, a woman with a PHD in Psychology, was an aloof (she once left an empty pan on the stove with the fire on and another time left a half-cooked poached egg on the stove), privileged WW with no interest in becoming apart of her community. Let’s call her Sarah (not her real name). Sarah spent so much time out of the house at her vacation home in Nevada City that she didn’t know what our other housemate’s car looked like nor mine. She texted me a picture one day asking who’s car was blocking the driveway because she was going to call the police. I told her it was Adam’s (not his real name) and she still planned to call the police on her own housemate for blocking the driveway by a few inches rather than asking him to move it LOL. And yes, Adam, was asshole enough to block the driveway and not care because that’s the kind of person he was – a selfish, inconsiderate, bumbling idiot. Sarah would spontaneously burst into sobs as she was messily dealing with a break up and bringing me and Adam into it. Any time I asked her how ANYTHING in the house worked, including the wifi, she’s say, “I don’t know Jake (her ex) set it up.”. How pathetic and helpless to not know how to navigate your own home. She bullied me, manipulated me into doing all of the household chores, and then tried to hold onto my $2100 deposit (which was an illegal amount she asked for, it was 1.5x the monthly rent) after I moved out – more on this when we get to April.

During this month I got back into running and walking, my new neighborhood was very suburban and reminded me of the environment I grew up in when I ran cross country. It was also still relatively close to Lake Merritt so some of my runs would lead me there. I continued to have issues with my sleep, continued dating, and began reaching out to friends for hangs. I also continued therapy.

January therapeutic advice: As I continue dating it’s valuable to remember that people’s actions are a reflection of them and not me. I don’t have to personalize things. In order to attract the kind of man that I want I have to become who I want. I have to be healthy and have a good baseline to attract that. My thoughts and beliefs are my reality. Life reflects back what I radiate.

February

I started feeling better about my body, hair, and skin. All the runs and hikes I was doing were paying off! I also joined the gym and got back into weight lifting which I had missed dearly. I began hanging out with my friends more and felt so poured into by myself and my community. I saw one of my absolute favorite DJs, Romare, who I have been listening to since living in NYC. I went to a really cutesy and fun Rocky Horror Picture Show performance on Valentine’s day with three girl friends. I celebrated my best friend’s engagement. I went to my first ballet performance at the War Memorial Opera House in San Francisco. Fun fact: San Francisco Ballet is the oldest ballet company in the United States! I went roller skating at the Church Of 8 Wheels Roller Disco which I have even more appreciation for knowing it is Black-owned. The owner himself greeted me and gave me skating tips without ever revealing his status and many other skaters gravitated towards me to share advice and keep me going. ♥️ I closed out Black History Month at the Black Joy Parade in Oakland with two of my Black girl friends and had a great time supporting Black-owned businesses and artists. ✊🏾

After three short months, with the first 1.5 months spent paying double rent on my last place, I decided to move again and go back to living on my own. I closed out the month giving my one month’s notice because I was so depressed and felt so negatively affected by living with two toxic people who turned out to be the worst people I have ever lived with.

February therapeutic advice: If I believe that the hard work I am doing and divine timing are at play along with trusting myself and life’s process I will eventually get what I want. Not believing in myself and the flow of life creates an energetic barrier to receiving what I want.

March

I started the month feeling empowered by my decision to move. I found a new place relatively quickly and really liked it. I gradually began packing, selling, and giving things away. I also bought myself a promise ring which I wrote about here. I celebrated a few things this month: being in therapy for one year; my good friend, Becca, and her partner’s birthdays; and a Black St. Patty’s day! I broke my 2.5 months of being alcohol-free at the St. Patty’s day party. I asked for a jello shot without alcohol and everyone laughed because they were like you just want jello then. I decided in that moment to be flexible and have a jello shot and one drink. I felt proud of myself for how long I maintained sobriety and didn’t see it as a failure that I didn’t make it the whole year. It was still a valuable learning experience. I also celebrated O’Tool Day with the organization I volunteer with, Volunteers for Outdoor California, V-O-Cal. O’Tool Day is a day that kicks off the volunteer season with the cleaning, sharpening, and oiling of all the tools we’ll use that season, doing inventory of our supplies, and coming together for a meal to nourish ourselves after a long day of laboring in the sun.

I celebrated my 32nd birthday with my book club, we had dinner at a friend’s house followed by a delicious sampling of mini cheesecakes. I also celebrated my birthday by going to brunch, doing a hike, and getting drinks with a friend. The day of my birthday I had not slept through the night before due to intense insomnia, but I woke up mid-afternoon to a bouquet of flowers a date sent me. I did have dinner plans with that same date, but I cancelled them because I wasn’t feeling physically or emotionally well. My family surprised me by sending me dinner and desserts which was serendipitous. Reflecting back on this was good because I remember being sad on and around my birthday and feeling un-loved, but now I see that idea was untrue. Some of my friends forgot to reach out and I was still up and down with my depression on top of being sick and moving literally 3 days after my birthday. It was a rough day, week, and month, but there was still so much love and light that reached me.

March therapeutic advice: There’s a lot of psychic energy built up in my bedroom. The more I can create separation from it and leave it as a place for rest and self care the more I will be able to experience better sleep. The value of a consistent routine like getting dressed for my day regardless of the location of my work or doing yoga before bed will also help me sleep at night.

April

I got settled in my new place rather quickly even after a few furniture ordering mishaps that resulted in a bunch of returns and no net new furniture. Over time I added a few accent pieces like a blanket basket, a lamp, a two-tier end table, and two new plants to replace all the plants I sold later in the year, more on that in part two.

I also had some residual toxicity to deal with regarding my last place. As the window for my deposit to be returned was nearing its end, I texted my housemate, Sarah, to check in to make sure she’d be returning it on time. She replied back with a bunch of bullshit as seen below…

When I threatened to take her to small claims court and she said, “Ive gone to small claims court twice in my life and won both times…”, in my head, I was like “Bitch, that isn’t the flex you think it is. Why is a third person feeling like they have to sue you. Winning in a system that favors White women isn’t really a win, it’s just a system working as it was designed.”

Long story short, I got my deposit back because the damage she was trying to hold over me was normal wear and tear like I said it was! She probably talked to someone who luckily brought her to her senses and let her know she was going to lose in court (Oakland LOVES tenants’ rights!) and look like a dumb ass while doing it. 😂

The rest of this month went swimmingly. I got promoted in my volunteer organization to Crew Leader, but before the promotion would be official I underwent classroom training and then shadowed many different crew leaders all 2024 to get exposed to different styles. I got a ton of great feedback like, “I was impressed. She gave a great tool talk, she reminded the volunteers to drink water, she kept in touch with them. She asked me for advice when she felt she needed it. And she was fun!”

I also did my first trail volunteer project in Mt. Madonna County Park. I helped build an entirely new trail as a reroute of one that eroded and rehabilitated an existing trail. I successfully redirected one incident where volunteers almost created a large hole and another where a volunteer risked their and others’ safety. I walked nearly ~6 miles carrying heavy firefighting tools. I led a tool talk where volunteers learned the names of the tools we use, what they are used for, and how to keep themselves and others safe. I learned how to use a grip hoist with assistance from Santa Clara County Parks staff to uproot a thicc tree stump. I learned trail building terminology and how to create a water diversion channel. I camped among lush redwoods, spotted a cute lil salamander, cleaned my body in my first outdoor shower, and helped fell a sick tan Oak! Most importantly I made new friends, built community, and gave back to the land I love!

I bought brand new cowboy boots after Beyoncé changed my life with her album Cowboy Carter. I canceled my gym membership and started dancing with a group, MASFXDance. I went down a rabbit hole one night thinking about how I have always wanted to dance in a Carnival festival. I did research and saw SF and Oakland had one. I saw that the carnival King for SF was a Black man and I looked him up and saw he was from Newark, NJ, my birthplace! That right there was the only sign the universe needed to send me. I reached out to him, he responded promptly, and I was invited to start rehearsing with his group for the upcoming Carnival festival in Oakland that June!

I had some dope outings with friends including a night of sushi, wine, hot-tubbing and Jazz; my first Giants game; and a day filled of viewing beautiful home gardens as part of the Garden Tour hosted by The Ruth Bancroft Garden. The tour ended at the nursery where we had snacks and champagne and did a photoshoot amongst incredibly large succulents.

April therapeutic advice: There was a time in my childhood, teens, and young adulthood when shrinking was helpful to keep me safe and secure. Now as an adult shrinking is harmful. It blocks me from being who I want to be. It causes me to be passive when I want to be assertive. It prevents me from asking for what I need. Not shrinking will allow people to really know me. It will help me build and maintain healthy relationships without grudges and resentment. It will help me find my voice and step into my power.

May

I kicked off May at First Fridays which was really fun bopping around Telegraph Ave seeing all of the beautiful people who came out to have fun. I photographed three events this month: 1) an all white rooftop party, 2) my friend’s food pop up, and 3) a Caribbean themed cruise out of Oakland’s Jack London Square. I was testing the waters to see if I wanted to get back into event photography. I quickly remembered how much pressure I put on myself to capture every detail, person, and moment perfectly; how much fun I still wind up having; and how dope my photography skills are and that I have nothing to worry about. Things ended up not working out with the person I shot two of the events with for reasons unknown to me. He just kind of ghosted me and I was fine with that.

I celebrated a friends very unique wedding that featured a lion dance (my first ever!), burner-art, various food pop ups, and DJs in a warehouse in Oakland. I also completed my second project of the year with V-O-Cal which was my fifth project overall. Every five projects you receive an honor so it was special to me to receive my blue hat and Pulaski pin symbolizing my dedication. I was accompanied by a friend on that project (the first time a friend ever joined me!) and made a new friend – they’re both in my book club now. :) I ended the month celebrating another friend’s birthday, who is also in my book club and one of her friends I met and befriended that day is my latest book club member. 😈

No therapeutic advice for May.

June

I started this month dancing onstage at Oakland’s Carnaval Festival on June 1st. Here's my carnival performance, my dance team and I are at the 2 hr 12 min mark, and then I get pulled back on stage by one of the Caribbean artists at the 3 hr 30 min mark. This was my first time ever dancing onstage and it was such a surreal, emotional, thrilling, and powerful thing to experience. The last time I was on any stage was in high school for theatre and even then I never performed in front of a crowd so large! I was hella nervous but my dance crew did a deep breathing exercise and gave each other hugs right before we got on stage which helped calm my nerves and made me feel like I was apart of something loving and larger than me. My hair, makeup, and costume were all done by me.

Two days later I blessed yet another stage at the largest data industry conference in San Francisco, Snowflake Summit. I shared the stage with a seasoned technology executive to talk about my team’s work we did in collaboration with his team to modernize their data sack in support of their program goals. Everyone who came up to us immediately following the presentation and the days after affirmed that the work we are doing for the State of California is valuable. The hottest things to come out of the summit were the 5-person group chat I’m in and the 9-person government group I got invited to be a part of at its inception.

Later in the month I had a fun night out with friends dining, drinking, and seeing Empire Strips Back, a burlesque Star Wars parody, I highly recommend! I went camping at Shaver Lake and swam in Dinkey Creek and I learned to change my SUV’s battery. I also celebrated my first Bay Area Pride 🏳️‍🌈 with friends at Dolores Park and was graced by a lovely bumble bee that landed on my shoulder – a sign of good luck! 🍀

As if I didn’t have enough to brag about from this month, I upped the ante and went to Kihei, Maui, Hawaii on a whim. I had my first scuba diving experience which was life-changing to say the least. Most people spend their lives on land, fewer in the sky, and even fewer in the depths of the ocean. Hawaii was a beautiful nature-filled place with epic hikes and I hope to go back and explore other islands!

No therapeutic advice for June.

As always, enjoy the last gallery below and stay tuned for part two. ✌🏾